Summer Break…

Well, I am officially on summer break!  I have been done with school for a week, and have loved my time with Devin and Dirk.  Devin has definitely started becoming more of a handful these days.  He is sitting up independently, but not to the point where I can just leave him sitting.  If there is something a few feet away, he will plop over on his belly and stretch, and whine, and scoot until he gets what he wants.  He is so funny! 

Devin is also very nosy.  If I have something, he will stare and “study” it – and then he will try everything he can to get it, especially if it is the remote, cell phone, ipod, or any other device he shouldn’t have! 

Dirk has been working hard at getting the pool opened up for us.  He’s hoping to have it open and ready by this coming weekend.  I can’t wait to get Devin out there.  I’m sure he will love it!  I bought sunscreen at Sam’s – figured we’ll use it! 

Even though summer brings much time to spend with Devin and my family, it also brings tears.  I haven’t quite felt that the loss of Michelle has sunk in to this point, but with having more time to think and more “down time” – it has started sinking in a little bit.  Ever since Michelle was diagnosed, Traci, Michelle, myself, and all the kids would enjoy many days sitting on Michelle’s back deck watching the kids play, make messes, and enjoy the sunshine.  I was so looking forward to that time this summer with Devin joining the gang. 

Mother’s Day was especially hard.  Mom, Traci, Michelle and myself had plans to spend it together, and when we made those plans, the thought that Michelle wouldn’t be here for Mother’s Day was never a thought in my mind. 

I miss her… there is no way around it.  I will ALWAYS miss her.  I find myself “talking” to her quite a bit, thinking of what she would do/say in situations, and I even laugh when I think of her rolling her eyes at me, or giving me that smile.

  

Through it all, I don’t want pity.  Michelle hated when people felt pity for her.  I am lucky… I can call Michelle my sister.  I had 30+ years to be with her – some good, some not so good – but either way – I was blessed – therefore – no pity for me… Michelle wouldn’t want that….